To the Single Person on Valentine’s Day

To the girl with a hurting heart, to the boy with disappointment resurfacing, to the ones who hold on to that pain, comparing themselves to others, asking God “why not” and letting fear of rejection take root, this is for you. For those of you who look at this Friday with longing or pain, I understand. And I am not about to sit here and tell you the same messages you’ve heard your whole life about singleness and how it’s a gift. Because the reality is yes, sometimes it is a gift and an enjoyable season to be in, but sometimes it isn’t. And it’s those of you in the latter season I want to speak to.

I’ve known hurt from early on my life, from being rejected by all the boys I liked, to knowing I wasn’t good enough in more than enough circumstances. And both of these instances put something on my heart that took a long time for me to notice, and then took longer for me to surrender so that it could heal. The first boy I liked found out, and told the whole class all of whom made fun of me for it the rest of the year. And I grew up with that boy; he was in my classes until we graduated. And a similar case of this rejection has taken place every time since. So by the time I was graduating high school, I had a decent-sized hole in my heart that I didn’t realize had formed.

And so began the healing process, which was full of insecurities and doubts. But it was also filled with growth and eventual healing. But none of that happened without surrender. Surrender was necessary for God to heal the hurt I held so deeply in my heart, and was the first step I had needed to take for so long. I won’t tell you that all your hurt will disappear the second you surrender, but I will tell you that once you let the process begin, it is so entirely worth it.

So for those of you with a hurting heart, I invite you to surrender. Surrender the hurt you’ve tucked away in your heart and haven’t let see the daylight for so long. My friend, trust me when I say that that simple action is so entirely worth it.

For those of you asking God “why not,” I understand. It hurts to see others receive exactly what you have been asking God to have for so long. But God is looking out for you, my friend. He is wanting to take you in his arms and heal that pain in your heart. He wants to remind you just how much you are loved and just how much he cares for you. I don’t have a perfect answer for you, but I do have this: God has never missed your tears nor your prayers. He has heard it all and knows your heart. He also knows that in your current season, singleness is key for you to live in such a way that brings him more glory than if not.

My friend, you are not limited by your circumstances. Take this pain you have held so dear and give it up to the one who loves you the most. You are worth it, and you are loved. So this Friday, do not let the stigma of society impact the journey of your healing. God’s got you in his hands, my friend. He is worthy of your trust.